Sorry...No Dice!

I got a phone call from Dr. C's office this afternoon. The MRI is clear, as is my bloodwork. Great news, you say? To most people, it would seem like it is great news, and possibly it is.

The fact remains, however, that I still have these symptoms that wash over me every single day. They are there, and they are real. And now, I am one step farther away from figuring out what's going on with me.

It still could be MS...many MS patients do not get a positive read on their MRI's for many years. I don't want to be one of those people who have to suffer for a long time before something is finally figured out.

Don't get me wrong...I don't WANT to have MS, but what I DO WANT is a DIAGNOSIS whatever that may be! Something where the doctor can say, "OK...you have such-n-such, and we will treat you this way with this drug or through this therapy." Is that too much to ask???

My next step is to have "Nerve Studies" done. Dr. C is going to play the gracious host at his office once again on November 14th - my 7th wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary! My day will consist of having electrical currents ran through my nerves and having needles stuck in my muscles. Way fun! NOT!

Oh well...if I were French, I would say CEST LA VIE, but I'm American (thank GOD!), so I will just say THAT'S LIFE.

Now somebody hand me some chocolate....

Drat those stinking MRI's!!!

So I had my MRI on Friday...did I ever mention that I'm Clausterphobic????

I really don't want to EVER have to do that again!!!! Not fun - AT ALL! I was told to be at Lexington Clinic at 3:30 pm so that they can sedate me and give it time to kick in. I arrived at 3:30, checked in, and sat there and sat there and sat there and sat there. Finally at 4:10, I asked them if there was a hold-up because I was supposed to be sedated at 3:30, and I was still sitting there even after they had taken people back that had arrived AFTER I did!! Grrrr....

So the girl at the desk acts like she has no idea that I had even been sitting there for 40 minutes, and she goes back in the back and comes back out to tell me that they would be calling me back shortly! Whatever!! Another 10 minutes pass - by this time it's 4:20...my MRI was scheduled for 4:30 - and they FINALLY come back and get me.

I was told to sit in a chair in this tiny room where the Radiologist took my blood pressure - it was 131/86 (high for me...I guess from being so aggravated with these people!). Then she told me to get undressed from the waist up and put on one of those wonderful hospital gowns. After I did that, she came back with a tablet of Valium and gave it to me to take. She told me that she would be back to get me shortly.

She comes back a bit later, and while I feel more relaxed, I'm NO WHERE near being asleep (and barely even sleepy). She takes me back to "THE ROOM." I get one look at that big tube and get a horrible case of the shudders. I had to lay on the table, and she gave me a blanket and a wash cloth to put over my eyes. She said that sometimes it helps to have the wash cloth. Boy did it ever!!!!

She proceeds to put earplugs in my ears and bolt my head down to this table where I couldn't move it at all. Then, with the wash cloth over my eyes, she puts this hard plastic shell thing over me that covered my face, shoulders and chest...the thing was literally 1/2 an inch above my nose. Thank GOD for that Valium, or I would have came off of that table right then and there...and we hadn't even started the MRI yet! The plastic piece was bolted down and was pushing heavily on my chest so that I was having a bit of difficulty breathing, which made it all the worse.

The test began...so the whole bed that I was on was moved slowly into the tube...thank God for that washcloth over my eyes (and did I already thank God for the Valium??). They started with my brain. There was SO much noise - lots of clacking and clanging and banging - enough to wake the dead. That part took about 15 minutes. Then they brought me out of the tube, and I was so excited because I thought that we were done. Nope...they just brought me out to tell me that they were starting on my neck now. More clinging, clanging, banging...another 15 minutes....brought me back out again. I'm finally done...that was about 30 minutes too long for me to be in that thing! Even though my legs were weak and I was a little weary from the Valium, I think I really did run out of that place! : )

My nightmare right now?? That they will call me and tell me that the pictures didn't come out and that I have to do it again! ; ) Heehee!

Anyway...it's done now. They said that it will probably take my dr. about a week to look at the pictures in detail and come up with his verdict. Of course, I'll be updating here when things progress!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Today is Halloween. While I don't agree with the meaning of this day, I do enjoy the festivities surrounding it. (Is that wrong??) I enjoy carving the pumpkins and giving candy out to all of the sweet little ones who come to my door.

We went to the pumpkin patch for the 2nd time yesterday and got Maddie and Mackenzie a bigger pumpkin to carve. It was a lot of fun because it was something that we could all do together. I got all of the seeds out of the pumpkin and baked them with cinnamon sugar...Mmmm....so good! (No one else would eat them though. Oh well...more for me!)

Maddie is going to be a princess bride. She has a little Cinderella wedding dress that she's had for a couple of months, so she decided that she wanted to wear that...after I talked her out of being a ghost, that is...haha!! She is SO excited about going trick or treating tonight! She talked about it non-stop this morning, and she actually got really upset when I put my Halloween vest on to wear out to work today because she thought I was going trick or treating without her.

I just bought Mackenzie a little sweatsuit that has little antennae (how do you spell that anyway!) on the hood and wings on the back. She's a little too young and still is not walking 100% on her own anyway, so I guess we'll wait to go all out for her next year.

It should be fun!! I'm excited!!!!!

Searching for a Diagnosis...

Over the last few years off and on, I've experienced bouts of muscle weakness and severe fatigue, as I've mentioned in other posts. Ever since Mackenzie was born, however, things have progressed and have become very frightening.

My great aunt on my Dad's side had Multiple Sclerosis. In looking back at what this current round of symptoms has become for me, I am now worried that it could be in my future (present?) too.

My symptoms have become far more pronounced in the last few months, and they are as follows:

• Muscle Weakness - my arms and legs feel like they are weighted at times; usually brought on by stress and/or exercise, though it can happen at other times as well.
• Joint Pain - My joints often ache in my fingers, wrists, knees, ankles and toes.
• Numbness/burning - mainly my right foot stays numb (and it could be from throwing my back out back in March, which is fine now), and there have been many times at night when I wake up and that foot will be burning like it's on fire. I also get tingling sensations in both of my feet and sometimes in my hands.
• Fatigue - But I've had this for years...
• Clumsiness/forgetfulness - I fell down the stairs the other night while holding on to the bannister and walking slowly. I left the water in the sink running while I got into the shower and didn't realize that it was still on until after I turned off the shower. I have a million stories like this, but you get the picture...
• Light-headedness - Comes and goes, but doesn't happen very often. Could be from allergies...

My muscle weakness has become so severe that where I once was someone who loved to walk, I now almost have to call Phil to come pick me up in the car because I just get so exhausted and feel like I can't possibly make it back to my house. There are times when I feel like I'm going to drop Mackenzie when I'm holding her because my arms get so weak.

I came to the realization that somethings not quite right with me a few weeks ago. All of my symptoms individually have other possible explanations for them (allergies, Endo, back problems, etc.), but as a whole, they are scary to me to see the big picture. I went to see my General Practitioner about it, and he referred me to a Neurologist for further testing.

My Neurologist is Dr. C at the Lexington Clinic. I was very skeptical about him at first because I looked up his profile on the website, and it seemed that he was very young, plus his specialties were with stroke and dementia patients. He ended up being extremely concerned and thorough in his approach to determining what is going on with me. He first tested my muscle strength and my reflexes in the office during my consultation (last Fri, Oct. 21). He said that everything seemed pretty well in that department, so he went on to order blood tests (can't remember what for, though - figures!) and then I am to have an MRI on my brain and neck tomorrow (Oct. 28th). I will be given a Valium, thankfully, before the procedure, as I am horribly Clausterphobic!

After the MRI, if all of the results come back clear, then we will move along to nerve and muscle testing where they use electrical currents to stimulate the nerves and stick needles into the muscles to see how they react. I would greatly prefer that it doesn't get to this point because that sounds like NO fun whatsoever!

Anyway, I am completely aware that these things could be happening for any number of reasons, and I hope to God that the drs. are able to find the problem quickly and treat it as successfully as possible.

And to think that I have just finally gotten my Endo pain under control...

Endo sucks!

That's right...I said it SUCKS!!

As a teenager, I always had very painful periods, but I was always told that cramps and pain is NORMAL. Then, come to find out that's it's NOT NORMAL...look at how much time I've wasted!!

I had it all...the cramping, the back aches, the nausea, the pain that radiated down to my knees and up my back and all of the other yucky things that I won't mention here. I still can't believe that I thought this stuff was normal!!! It wasn't until I came upon the "Dealing with Endo" thread on OvuSoft that I realized that my problem was bigger than I thought it was. I'm SO glad that I found that board - especially because it has netted some WONDERFUL friendships even though many of us are hundreds of miles apart.

In October 2003, I finally talked to my OB/GYN about my symptoms, and he immediately mentioned that it was possibly Endometriosis. We scheduled my Laparascopy (the only way to definitively diagnose Endo, by the way) for December 10, 2003. I had my Lap that day and he lasered what was found...

Two months after my surgery, Phil and I were thrilled to find out that we were expecting baby #2. Apparently, the surgery helped in that respect. I felt really good during that pregnancy and had no problems except for an infection that went undetected for a long time and caused Mackenzie to be born at 34 weeks. After an 11 day NICU stay, she came home and is still doing just wonderfully.

So later on, I find out that Endo should be *excised* and NOT lasered...yep...it's back with a vengeance now! If you do not remove all of the Endo implants, they will continue to grow, and that, apparently, is what is contuining to go on with me. All of the symptoms that I had before my surgery have slowly returned - each month getting more intense than the last. I had been completely down-feeling about the whole thing, and I was thinking that another surgery was going to be in my very near future.

Then...my dear Endo buddy, Sharon, introduced me to my best pal - NPC! That's Natural Progesterone Cream. Progesterone is the hormone that a woman's body makes from ovulation on until her period begins. Apparently, my body does not make enough Progesterone, so I began using the NPC after many months of discussions with Sharon and her other NPC Pals about it. (I don't like to take any medications or herbal remedies - especially ones that I'm not familiar with.) The first few months using the NPC were kind of rough-going. Still lots of pain...lots of symptoms...but then around the 5th month of using NPC, something happened. VERY LITTLE PAIN. Still some pain, but FAR less than it had been. I've never been so excited in my whole life!!! : ) I know that my Endo will continue to grow, and eventually I will have to have another surgery, but if this NPC can help me to control my symptoms, then this may keep me from that for awhile.

Anyway, it's been a LOOONNNGGGG road so far, and I'm sure I'll face this for many more years to come, but at least I have hope in knowing that there is help!

An Introduction

So I started this blog back in January 2005, but I am just now getting around to really starting on it. How bad is that!?!

So how about introductions to start things off??

I turned 30 years old 7 months ago, but I still feel like I should be 16 (although my body acts like it's 60 most of the time!). I have two of the most beautiful little girls it the whole world - Madeline Grace is 3 and Mackenzie Faith is 1 (13 months). Although they can be little monsters at times, they are the lights of my life!

I've been married to the love of my life for almost 7 years - Phil. We met 8 1/2 years ago through my cousin, Delaine...he was good friends with her and her ex-husband, Johnie. I, frankly, did not want to meet him at the time because I had just come to the conclusion at that point in my life that it was a good thing to be alone sometimes. I sure am glad I went to dinner that night, though...the rest, as they say, is history!

I always feel sorry for Phil, though, that he got stuck with someone like me (although he's wonderful enough to say that he wouldn't even want anyone else). I've struggled with my health almost for as long as we have been married. Shortly after we married, I began having a lot of problems with severe fatigue. I was diagnosed shortly after with what my dr. called "Chronic Epstein Barr Virus" - the virus that causes Mono and Strep. I believe now that this was a "get out of my office and leave me alone" diagnosis (ie., bogus!).

It was many years later, after the birth of Maddie, that I realized that there was more to my problems than I had ever realized. I had Laparascopic surgery in December 2003 where I was finally given my correct diagnosis - Endometriosis. This disease, in and of itself, has been a journey of its own...I'll elaborate on this in a separate post.

Now that I've taken measures to manage my pain from the Endo, yet another set of problems have risen. I'm having an MRI tomorrow on my brain to check for possible MS or other Neurological problems...I'll also elaborate on this in a separate post.

(Now can you see why I feel sorry that my husband got stuck with me??) :)

Anyway, at times I feel like a complete hypochondriac, but at the same time, I KNOW that my symptoms are real and are very present in my every day life. I just don't want to be THAT kind of person who moans and gripes and complains about every little ache and pain, but I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm becoming... : (

So here I am...starting this blog - finally - to get some of this crud that crowds my brain out for good!

So if you're reading this...thanks for caring enough to try to understand me! Love to you all!

My prayers for today:

My MRI tomorrow - that I can get the answers I'm looking for
My friends and family who are sick right now
My Church who is beginning a new Capital improvements campaign
My friends who so long for a baby of their own, that they will hold their own child very soon!
My pregnant buddies, that they will have wonderful, healthy babies
My dear buddy, Rhonda, that God will grant her a pain-FREE life very soon (and that goes for all of my Endo buddies...)