What's Happening???

I'm not liking myself these days too much. I don't remember anything anymore...I don't feel the same anymore...I can't lose weight like I used to anymore...things are just getting far more complicated. I want to be a kid again!!!

I am forgetting SO much, it's really scary. You know, I always had "Mommy brain" ever since my kids were born - forgetting things, wondering why I walked into a room, etc., but now it's become completely overwhelming. The latest fiasco is that I completely forgot about my friend's twin girls' birthday party. I even had the invitation taped to my fridge so that I could remember. I sat there on Saturday thinking that I had absolutely nothing to do, and then Sunday night at 9:30 PM...I remembered.

Tammy, if you're reading (and if you haven't completely abandoned me as a friend yet, which I would completely understand if you did)...I am SO sorry! I was SO looking forward to it...I just keep beating myself up because it's not like me to forget things like this.

*sigh*

In other {bad} news...Phil lost his job on Friday. It wasn't his fault, but I completely lashed out at him as if it were. His boss came in and told Phil that he had made more money than he (his boss) did last year. He couldn't afford to keep him around, so he's out. He did give him a nice little severance check, and he will be getting unemployment.

But what's happening? Why is everything going to HELL all of the sudden? My health is going to HELL! My parents' health is going to HELL! My husband's job and part of our financial well-being is going to HELL! Just when we get ahead financially, something always happens! WHY??

So I sit here a mess...I'm dealing OK, I think. (Do you think?? LOL!)

I started back to Weight Watchers the Friday before last. I need to lose 28 lbs. again. I did it the first time a few years ago in about 16 weeks...this time, it's gonna take awhile. I only lost 1.8 lbs. at my first weigh-in last week, and I was very disappointed. The last time I joined before I got pregnant with Mackenzie, I lost almost 5 lbs. of water weight at my first weigh in...so that's my point of reference.

It's just hard for me to exercise these days...I do what I can, but walking for long distances and at a high speed are out, and high impact aerobics are out. I've been walking as far and as briskly as I can, and I've been doing these dance aerobic things that have 10 minute intervals...I've worked my way up to 20 minutes on "good" days. Bleh! Let's not even talk about drinking water...

I don't know if it's stress or my "condition" or what, but today, my right hand and leg are on fire! You may remember that those are the two limbs that I've been having the most trouble with...they feel like they're sunburned, but of course, there's nothing there. Craziness!!

OK...let's talk positives for awhile:

My kids are grand! Maddie has been going to the potty so well lately. I'm so proud of her. My friend Jamie and her daughter, Jada, are coming over from Indiana this Friday to stay with us, and we are going to take the girls to the Disney Princesses on Ice show Friday night! I'm so excited!! It should be a lot of fun (for the girls AND us - heehee)! I'll be sure to post pictures...

Mackenzie is SO funny these days. Just her actions...the way she tries to play peekaboo and act sly, the way she dances so funny, the way she tries to act just like Maddie. She's a lot of fun!

Thank GOD for my girls!!

That's it from here...I promise to get my act together and stop complaining/whining so much. Something HAS to give eventually.