All Good Things Must Come to an End

I should really learn my lesson. Every time I say that I feel good, something else comes along and blindsides me!

Yesterday (Sunday), me, Phil, and my Mom and Dad took the girls to the mall to have their pictures done. I rode in the back of my Mom's van (a Mazda MPV minivan) to the mall. I sat like you're supposed to sit in a car - not with my legs up under me or anything like that. When we got there, everyone else had already gotten out of the car. When I got out, I kind of hopped out of the side door (like I do all of the time - geez...it's only like 1-2 feet off of the ground!), and when I landed, my legs completely gave out and went to mush. I would have fallen on the ground had I not grabbed hold of the door! It was EXTREMELY scary - I didn't have any control over my legs!!

Anyway, I couldn't walk for a minute or two at all, but then I finally got my legs to move. My knees were SO shaky, like they couldn't hold the rest of my body up, and my thighs felt like Jello. My lower legs, however, seemed to be fine. I walked pushing the stroller for support, and that helped me to get my legs moving since they felt like they were trying to permanently attached themselves in place. As I walked, the shakiness in my knees started to subside, but my upper legs became SO incredibly stiff that I still had to drag my legs to walk. I don't even know how to explain it here because I've NEVER experienced anything like it in my entire life. I guess I could say that my legs felt like they do when you're doing leg lifts on an exercise machine where you're sitting and then you push the weights with your lower legs upward...you know the feeling you get in your upper leg muscles? It's not pain at all, but a tight feeling. I guess this is what would be considered Spasticity???

This was enough to scare me to death. I hated it that Mom and Dad were there, too, because I think they are worried enough as it is. I don't want ANYONE to worry about me. The only thing they should worry about is me not getting diagnosed anytime soon...if I could get my diagnosis of whatever, I could begin drug therapy and have a chance to get back to normal for a long time.

One funny thing, though....I got really upset when this happened (as you can imagine) and started to cry. Well, I didn't want the girls to get upset by seeing me upset, so I immediately excused myself to the bathroom when we got into the mall. Well, when it was time to leave, and we got back to the door to go back out to the car, and Maddie stops and says, "Mommy, do you have to go potty again?" LOL! Ahhh...the innocence of children!

The next few weeks and months are going to be VERY interesting. This event yesterday was enough to make me know 100% without a doubt that there is something going on, and it HAS to be taken care of. I cannot stop for one minute in pursuing a diagnosis. I HAVE to and WILL find a doctor that will help me.